Beware: This might be an overshare!

There have been so many things going on over the past few weeks that I guess I've had trouble coalescing my thoughts into something "blogworthy"-that being said, there has been something that has been bothering me for some time now.

Mainly: that I don't feel like being touched.

More to the point, I don't feel like getting, you know, intimate.

My sweet loving understanding wonderful husband is having a hard time with this. And I don't blame him! His stupid friends have been telling him that he should have known all along: Marriage=No Sexy Time. Or at the least less and less and less sexy time.

I don't want him to think that its him. Because its not! I just don't want to. I know its cliche, but I'm tired and I have a headache. I'm more than willing to cuddle, but mostly I just want to sleep.

To be honest the idea usually makes me a little sick to my stomach. How weird is that?

I feel better in the mornings ("morning sickness" is SUCH a misnomer) but we usually have so much going in that it feels like work to try to fit in a little "us" time.

Plus now it hurts sometimes, and I find myself feeling all protective and mama bear-ish. I know its normal and healthy to have sex when you're pregnant, but I just feel so off all of the time.

It makes me feel so horrible! In fact I'm crying a little bit while I write this (but that's not really news, as I'm pretty much a walking puddle these days).

I just feel so bad for Brandon. It has got to be hard dealing with the crazy woman that I have become. He never (ever) says anything to make me feel bad, but I can just tell that he's disappointed.

Maybe I should buy him some porn?

This is for all you people who think we don't need healthcare reform:

Excuse my french but F*** you. Right in the ear.

My deductable for having this baby is $5,000. That's right 5 large. Almost half of my yearly salary. NOT to mention the $186 I pay monthly just to have the insurance. And that doesn't even include ultrasounds, blood work, or lab tests. It doesn't include Brandon, or our unborn child. NO. That's just for ME.

Now Brandon has been paying for his own health insurance through the Reserves. Not much, but enough anyways. And guess what? He hasn't gone to the Doctor once in over two years. And when the going got tough, and we thought we were going to lose our house? Well we payed the most important bills first. (You know like the ones that keep us fed and sheltered?) So the insurance bill got neglected. Irresponsible? Sure. Understandable? Completely.

Except. Except!

That now, because the bill became 30 days past due, NEITHER of us qualify for Tricare insurance. FOR A YEAR.

Tricare. The insurance that would allow us to pay less than I pay for myself a month, for our whole family. Tricare that has no deductables. Tricare that covers all of my ultrasounds and blood work. NOPE. We can't have it because we ran into financial difficulty and did what anyone would have done.

Want to know the real kicker??

We don't qualify for Medicaid. We make too much.

So what do I do now? Quit my job so that I can afford to have my baby? Does anyone else see how ridiculous that is? Because we both work full time, we can't get government assistance??

This is WRONG. This needs to change.

So much for LOSING weight!

So for the first 8.4285 weeks of my pregnancy I LOST weight.

7.3LBs to be exact.

I was like "WOooooo!"..... Oh wait...?

I think that period is officially OVER.

I kind of can't suck in my "little pooch" as my co-workers so aptly put it.

I can't decide whether I'm just bloated, or if I really am starting to show!?

I think it might be time to start thinking about buying a belly band - (its this sweet little piece of spandex fabric that lets you unbutton your pants so you don't have to buy maternity pants for a while, for those of you not in the know).

I think my little baby thought I wasn't feeling pregnant enough (or the universe wanted to teach me "be careful what you wish for"??)

Either way, I've been feeling decidedly nauseous and icky since the commencement of my 8th week. So much for my NO pregnancy symptoms. Now I get too feel like hurling on top of my blinding headache!

Also my hormones are ALL OVER THE PLACE.

Poor poor Brandon....

He's been really good about it though. He hardly bats an eye anymore when I go from sweet and cuddly to PREGGOSAURUS. And he buys me Pizza and ROOT BEER! Wooooo for Brandon!

The Cat is out of the BAG!

...Or should I say the Baby is out of the bag??
I simply couldn't keep it in any longer!
I'm happy to say that my parents took it better than I anticipated (I'm not sure what exactly I was expecting, but WOOOOOOO! none-the-less!)
It appears that everyone is as excited as I am!

Now I have to tackle the daunting task of telling my BOSS.
How will she take it? I have NO IDEA.
It officially takes me out of the running for one of the two major horse shows that I'm supposed to attend to promote our products. (Not that I'm all that upset about that, but she might be.)

I can't wait to tell my co-workers so they can stop thinking I've been coming in to work hungover for the past three weeks.
Yes I AM tired. Yes my head DOES hurt.
NO. I did NOT have a little too much to drink last night!
Plus then maybe they'll stop clucking like chickens when I have TWO donuts.
No more "I thought you were on a diet..?"
or "Isn't that fattening?"
Whatevs! I'm supposed to gain weight bitches! Jealous???
Bahahaaaa.

Oh, I guess I forgot to tell you.
Instead of having a summer BBQ this year, our boss decided she would "surprise" us with a 3 month free subscription to Weight Watchers.
I am officially the only woman in the building NOT on a diet.
I don't care what anyone says.
Pregnancy ROCKS!

Headaches

For the past week or so I have felt a little bit, well, UNpregnant.

I haven't really had morning sickness (I know, I'm lucky right?), but to be honest the lack of symptoms kind of freaks me out!

I mean, I should feel pregnant right?!

You know, have that glowy I'm creating a miracle feeling?



Well it occurred to me this morning when I woke up with a headache - yet again - that that IS my pregnancy symptom. I've had a headache daily for nearly two weeks now.



Up until today I had chalked it up to bad work lighting and staring at a computer screen all day.

Well DOY! Maybe my pregnancy brain is setting in frighteningly early folks?



So I guess that's it. Constant headaches. That's my pregnancy symptom.

Which when I think about it isn't all that shocking. I mean, I've always been prone to headaches right?