So Weiland played a lot of fun games this morning. They were SO fun in fact, that I thought I would share them with everyone else. The first one was called the "It's four in the morning and I'm wide awake and there is nothing you can do about it" game. This game in and of itself isn't TOO bad, but it was being played concurrently with the "I'm not hungry but I'm going to use you as a human pacifier" game. FUN times! Then came the "It's five a.m. and I'm still wide awake but I'm PISSED OFF because I told you there was nothing you could do about it, but you keep trying to give me my binky and make me fall asleep" game. This one makes you REALLY want to tear your hair out. And finally: the (and this is THE MOST FUN in my opinion) "Okay I'm tired now but I will only sleep if you keep me in your arms at a 52° angle and bounce me every third second with a double bounce every fifth time" game. So my son is FINALLY asleep, but guess who's playing the "It's 8:24 in the morning and I'm wide awake and there is nothing you can do about it game?" **Sigh**
So immediately after posting this blog my omniscient little son realized that mommy was awake and woke himself up with a tremendous fart. Mommy proceeded to change his diaper, said fart having turned out to be a "shart," and we embarked on a new game I like to call the "I pee AND poop on you, me, and the surrounding area" game. This one involves multiple costume and scenery changes. SO we moved to stage 2: The SHOWER. Where through an ironic twist, the washcloth I chose (the one with cute little baby chicks on it) happened to have the exact same coloring as my son's poop, so I at first didn't notice that we were playing round two of "I pee AND poop on you, me, and the surrounding area" game. But lucky for me, The SHOWER, comes with SOAP! TAKE THAT IRONY!! I won that round. We move on to the drying off stage of the game, and yep, you guessed it: ROUND 3 of the "I pee AND poop on you, me, and the surrounding area" game. Touche little poop monkey, touche. So after a third round of costume changes and a thorough wipe down of the surrounding area(s), I gave in to fate and acknowledged that my son, myself, and the surrounding area(s) just might smell faintly of soiled baby diaper for the rest of the day. Sorry people who might interact with me today, I've learned a valuable lesson; that when tiny people play games with you, you rarely win, and you NEVER have the last word (or poop - as the case may be).